To the Memory of a Dear Companion


         But never absent. 
         But forever alive,                           
                                    in my mind,                           
                                    in my dreams.  

I can still see 
                    your delicate body 
                                    hovering above me. 
                   Your bare breasts. 
                   Your bare feet.  

And I can still feed 
                             upon the ghostly beauty                         
                            of your glowing face,           

and still feel 
                    my yearning,                         
                    my need,                                 
                                 for your warm embrace.                                  
                                 For the firmness                                         
                                                   of your hold                                                 
                                                                   upon me.                                                 
                                                                   Upon me.  

I can still sense 
                         your soothing presence
                                                                  around me.


I can still sense                       
                        your presence                                     
                                             around me,                                      
                                             and it disturbs me.                                            
                                                            Stings me.                                            
                                                            Enrages me.          
        For it is incomprehensible to me,                    
        And I know it could not be real,                          
                              no matter how palpable it seems.                        
                              No matter how palpable... it seems.   


Why have you gone? 
Why have you left me?                

Did you feel my absence                                        
                                        around you,                                        
                                        when you most                                                 
                                                           needed me?               
Did you feel angry                                  
                           with me?               
Did you let yourself die                                        
                                         just to punish me?               
Did you miss me?               
Did you miss me?  

Did you kiss me,                                
                        in a final fantasy?               
Did you address me,                
                              in a last appeal? 
Did you think of me                                   
                               on your deathbed?  
Did you think of me? 
Did you think of me?  

Did you consider, 
                               for even a moment,                                          
                                               a singular moment,                       
                my desire,                       
                my need                               
                             for you,                                        
                                       to stay alive                                                     
                                                       with me,                                        
                                       to cradle me,                                        
                                       to shelter me,                                         
                                       to protect me?  

Did you think of me? 

Did you think of me?